Embrace Change

Days just seems to pass like that. If thinking about any big thing that happens, it would be in June where I change my job and broke up with my gf. So quickly it has been six months and thinking back, i havent really achieved anything. My mind seems to have stopped thinking but time has not stopped for me.... Am i running away? Running away from what?

Not much to trace back. I never have any real achievements in the first place. Nothing that i am so proud of. Reading back my past entries. So much has been said on self development but all I have been doing time to time is playing games, going out for movies, shopping.... so lost to decadence. I have known so much and can feel the potential in me. I feel so locked up. I wonder who or what is the key to unleash my potential. I feel like I am a dormant volcano waiting to unleash fury upon the surface scorching anything in my path and so finally the world will understand or feel the anger inside of me.

A fortune teller has told me i am meant for more. It is just a matter of time before the key will appear. What I have to do now is to learn what i want to learn. Bryan has told me not to look so far ahead since i do not have the foresight and everything look so uncertain now. He say what i am doing is right. Study. Get a degree. What can be so wrong about that? Opportunities will present itself much less about me being foretold to be someone great in the future.

Maybe I have worried too much and try to take things too fast. No pain no gain. Things need time to develop even with pain. I should just live happily for the present and develop myself slowly. I am not a "fast" person anyway. All in all to say, my life has been far greater or say more comfortable then most people.

I have pinned up this email in my room about the professor and his students. The story goes like this bunch of students visited their old sch professor after they have highly established careers. Conversations goes on and soon it all turned into complains for their stress in their jobs. The professor went into the kitchen and prepared coffee for his students and came back out with a variety of cups. Some exquisite, some plain looking. Instinctively, this bunch of students went for the exquisite cups leaving those plain looking ones aside. Then the professor told them, "Considering life is the coffee and the cup is the job, money and position in society. Although it is natural to want the best for yourselves, it becomes the source of your stress. Be sure the cup does not add quality or change the taste of the coffee. So by going for the exquisite cups is as good as going for ever higher income or position in society and at times, you will fail to enjoy and appreciate the coffee which is life." He also illustrate that the happiest ppl alive are those who live with things that are less perfect.

This has certainly brought forth a very interesting qns. Where exactly and what is enough. As the saying goes, nothing is ever enough. But now is not time for me to worry about that yet as my path is still not yet certain. Maybe things are really structured for an individual. The devout Christians have always believed God has a plan for them all. What is happening to them now is what God has in mind for them. Though I am not a Christian, but this is something i believe in too. Bryan has also told me that he refused to believe in that becoz he say it feels like he will have no control over his life. But each for themselves. Haha.

I guess i am feeling so much better these days. Less lonely. Recovering good. Doing what I want to do. No restraint. Should really enjoy this freedom. So glad to have met Ferina. If you reading this, thanks ah. :p So much I have blog down. Whew, what a piece off my mind.

posted by Charlie @ 12:11 AM