Embrace Change

-==Life at Kopitiam.

My kopitiam where my dad's stall is situated has the most disturbing pests of food and beverage business.

I am not sure of rodents. Probably they rampage the rubbish dump outside the locked out kitchen. But there are hordes of disgusting black or red bellied, humongous flies and fleets of irritating mynahs.

The mynahs are less of a problem as u see them only once in every while. At least they dun leave ugly mass of droppings on tables and chairs. They only striked at unguarded food when the human traffic is minimal.

But the disgusting flies are different. U see them everytime, everywhere. They settled around on tables and chairs feasting on invisible scraps of food. There are armies of them, flying around mating and playing with each other, hovering above food and settling on unguarded food.

Nothing to do abt this problem. It has to be up to the "towkay"(owner or boss) of the kopitiam to come up with solutions to rectify this problem. Apparently we have not seen actions of any sort.

There are 2 distinct classes of ppl evident in the kopitiam. The high class air-conditioned environment working personnel and the odd jobs labourers. Lets put factory aunties in the odd jobs category.

I empathised with the higher class office personnel, with all their exclusive apparels and habits, refused to dine at the run down kopitiam with renovations dated more than ten yrs old. More prefer to take-away and dine-in at their office.

There is so much little sightings now with all the dressed up ppl hiding away. This make my kopitiam work extremely tasteless. But still occasionally there will be some.

Just got some money out of helping out. I wondered if my dad dig it out of his own pocket or did he gave me from the profits of the month. Anyway it is just a meagre amt. I am rather disappointed. My everyday effort just worth a little more then $2.

Anyway hope the job alvin recommended got thr.

Abt it.

posted by Charlie @ 2:39 PM

-==Financial Position.

Y would I wanna isolate myself if I really have the money to enjoy myself? Y would I upset the jovial mood of everyone when I have the money to do things together? I of coz would not put up a facade of riches. When I said that I am out of "bread" means I am.

I believed a majority of the ppl prefer to make false assumptions abt my financial position. If u do not bother to understand my situation, DO NOT misunderstand and DO NOT assume! Who would not want to come out and enjoy activities with their frens?

Maybe weirdos dun.

Definitely not me.

Accounting
I do seperate accounts. Not between 2 banks but rather between the money from my parents and the money that i earned. It is definitely okay for u to owe me money but not to owe my parents indirectly.

I am rather upset with a recent confession of my fren whose bad blood with me spurned over so many years. He mentioned in his confession that i asked him for money when he owed me a very petty sum. He spoke in the fact that he treated me to meals and movies and that petty sum should account for all that favour. Of coz he wouldnt fuss over that sum of money but this incident lead to a very bad situation which i shall not elaborate.

Henceforth the above example illustrates that is that he borrowed my allowance from my parents so he will have to return it. If the money is what i earned i would not have forgot abt his grace and turn the tables on him.

Petty mindedness
If i do not have a stable income, i would go to the dollar and cents with u. If i am earning, did u see me talk abt money? Would i say "hey u owe me 1 buck."? No, absolutely no. I treasure financial security. Without it i will go havoc. Perhaps becoz of my upbringing.

Allowance
Now abt my allowance from my parents. It has been 20 years that i have been living like this. They gave me an amount and i make sure i spent every cent of it before i would take from them again. This is all becoz i understand the pain of them earning that money and they have scrimp and save all their adult life with so minimal enjoyment.

With that i would not take money from them unnecessarily. So currently since i am not schooling so i would not have an stable allowance. Thereforth unable to even save up any amount to do and buy the stuffs i like.

No ppl can understand that pain when my frens called me out once and once again and i have to reject repetitively and cruelly out of love and sympathy for my parents. All the time my mum will frown at the household expenses and have frequent arguements with my dad over monetary matters.

If I can help, u can be sure I do.

My Money
Coming to my finances finally. I tell u. I got $10 of savings. Thats abt it. Happy? Jobs are not easy to come by. So shut the talk of finding a job. There is talk abt "he can go lan and he got no money to go out with us". I can tell u i owe someone all that money. I am already spending in advance, living in credit. How do u like it if u are in my shoes? I already got 100 plus of debts stucked up my ass. How much more do u want it in?

Despite the justifications, ppl will still say "y dun u do this? y dun u do that?"

If u cant empathise with me, fuck off man. FUCK OFF!!!

posted by Charlie @ 3:23 PM

-==Dark Clouds.

Three events for my week thats almost over. Driving test, visiting my cousin for her baby's full month celebration and playing mahjong after.

The week kicked off with my sub-standard driving techniques in the vehicle circuit in BBDC(Bukit Batok Driving Centre) and the dreadful driving test fell on the very next day. In a final attempt to pull me thr, my instructor arranged for a revision in the morning. I had to wake up at 0530 to prepare for all the mini rituals to invite the Gods to watch over me.

My dad drove me over for my lesson then. Due to the lack of sleep the days before this BIG day, i suffered a lack of focus which invariably lead to my downfall, the failure of my test. There is nothing antagonising to fail the theoritical papers, but rather it is the final TP that really matters. $100 took on wings and fluttered off just right before my eyes.

It pains me to get 32 demerits. I could have well avoided most mistakes which i dun usually make. Still the circuit already got me, much less the road. Curse myself for playing too much games the days before.

I was feeling down for a few days after. Upon the fact that i might only be able to pick up driving again on the next yr demoralised me. So thats the bad start.

Nothing abt the visit to my cousin's. But with dark clouds on my forehead, its not quite possible for me to win at mahjong. I lose three rounds of mahjong for the whole nite. Choking up 11 bucks. My cousin offered to share it with me. Though unwilling, i have to accept. I didnt expect myself to lose this badly so there was just $8 in my wallet. I would lose $12 if not for my cousin who subsidised it with $5. He did played but only for a couple of turns. I owe him for this.

Well nothing much, guess i gonna spend much time in solitude with the company of my computer till my revised NS term which begins in August.

Cheerio.

posted by Charlie @ 1:45 PM

-==Gods.

My parents consulted the Gods of Taoism abt my driving test tml. My father was claimed to have passed as to their blessing. I would not have believe this in the beginning, but one of the God's word seems particularly, eerie?

The God said that I would have trouble handling the slope in the circuit. I dismissed all that as pure superstition but however appreciate my parents' effort asking for me.

However, the more that i dismiss this as superstition, i find myself believing the God's word. Things went wrong the second time i am in the circuit. This time i experienced some glitch on the slope.

Scary.

This somehow seems to give me a warning.

Whatever it is, i just gotta do it. If i do manage to pass this test, i think i will need to pay the temple a visit which i had not done so for the past few yrs, to show my respect to the God which might have unknowingly helped me to pass.

Religion wise, i am more western influenced, having attended a Christian kindergarten and primary school. But seems like this time they got me believing in the Taoism Gods.

I do not know which religion i may pick up in the future but definitely I gonna stay free of religion obligations for now.

So cheers to my test tml.

posted by Charlie @ 10:39 PM

-==Driving.

Hope tml will mark a fullstop to my driving lessons.

I have been taking driving lessons since last Nov but at a relatively slow rate, all because I was still schooling a few mths ago. Now I have gathered up speed but still steps behind the desired standard.

Tml is crunch time. The last hold between me and a driving license.

My instructor had arranged for a last min revision for me. I might be driving all morning until my test at 11am.

Somehow I have a bad premonition for tml. Probably becoz of the fact that i still lack that confidence in myself. And only me, myself can break that barrier and emerge a winner or i can do nothing abt it and depend on luck.

I can only choose the latter.

Wish me luck ppl. For tml.

posted by Charlie @ 2:02 PM

-==Ouch!

All thanks to the wisdom tooth that pops out of the ordinary (well not actually, it is already there for quite sometime) that i suffered a week or more of pain. It still hurts now.

I could easily have it removed when it came out months ago but the cost stopped me from doing so. Now it tore my inner cheek and made a rather big inflamed ulcer. It seems to have slightly adjusted my upper jaw too.

The pain causes me to have bad mood, difficulty eating and speaking.

Grrhhh.

*grit teeth

Go away go away.

posted by Charlie @ 11:46 PM

-==Free.

Now are the days that I woke up without worries abt scholastic matters, nor am I mentally burdened.

It has been a month since I detached myself from Singapore Polytechnic, my last academic institution. I was then plunged into freedom, a feeling unfelt throughout this 20 years that I have been dwelling on this planet, in this world.

However, never will one wake up without worries. Despite the freedom, i have limited resources to do as I wished. With my near empty bank account, there seems like nothing much i can do.

With so much time at hand and all the while jobless, helping out at my parents stall is the only thing that kept me occupied and seperate me for couple of hours away from the computer screen.

Despite the lack of stable income, my time at the stall is compensated with a small amount of what i would call allowance. At least it is enough for me to hang out occasionally with my peeps. Be it mahjong, sports, movie, lan.

Right now i am still able to enjoy this idylic lifestyle. Of coz all good things are due to end. I have a NS term pending. Upon receiving my Diploma, the following day will be the day that i will get a new lifestyle. A lifestyle of discipline.

A couple of my friends are now residing in their respective lodging awaiting their new day of training and ultimately be free.

Now, I wish them well and hope my time comes soon.

posted by Charlie @ 10:45 PM