Embrace Change

-==Employment Characteristics==-

http://www.idealpartner.org.uk/ipbi/WhatJob.asp

Chee wee - Born: 11 July 1984 Gender: Male Lunar Birth Date: 13 6 1984 (day/month/year)

Ki System

Natal Year number: 7
Although Chee wee may have taken a considerable time to reach maturity, he is nevertheless a quick thinker whose ideas change as rapidly as his conversation. He's an individual who wants to be liked, and as such finds it hard to refuse requests. For the same reason he dislikes arguments, and wherever possible will compromise to avoid conflict. Not the sort of individual to be employed in litigation, but excellent in mediation.

Natal Month number: 3
A generous and kindly spirit, Chee wee's quick brain is inclined to master only superficial knowledge of his subject. His impulsive nature tends to make him somewhat idealistic, and thus his responses owe rather more to gut instinct than to reason. Chee wee will be happier in self-employment than trapped in a structured business or hierarchical organisation.

Natal House number: 9
Chee wee will work better in attractive surroundings that complement his appearance and character. A natural charmer with good taste and a sense of humour, Chee wee has the potential to be an inspirational leader in the workplace. Although a good "people person", he tends to let money slip through his fingers all too fast.

Comments based on Western Grid

111 Although Chee wee is often outgoing and chatty, he can at times be quite introspective. He may not of course see himself as an entertainer, but he nevertheless has all the qualities needed for the stage. He may seem shy on interview, but put him on a platform with an audience, and you will see the benefits that he can bring to any employment that demands such skills.

4 A practical individual, Chee wee is a neat and tidy craftsman who can organise others to achieve his plans. He should use those practical skills and organisational ability in an office management, or secretarial function, or by applying such skills to self-employment. In general, Chee wee is a neat and tidy individual - qualities of value to many different jobs.

7 Chee wee will find life's lessons hard to learn. He will suffer from loss (of possessions or those he loves) before questioning the cause of that loss. It is likely that Chee wee will develop a faith of some sort, and although it need not necessarily be a religious faith, it will nevertheless be something that he holds onto against all the evidence. Potential employers need to find out what that faith entails.

8 Good with details and with a methodical approach, Chee wee nevertheless is someone who enjoys constant new challenges to maintain his interest. He is a methodical individual with attention to detail, but is inclined to leave tasks unfinished if his active mind alights on something of greater interest. Routine tasks that fail to challenge his intellect are at greatest risk, so Chee wee needs a job that offers variety.

9 Ambitious to improve his lot, Chee wee will constantly push forward to achieve something in his life, yet this ambition will be balanced by humanitarian ideals that will lead him to support causes that may demand self-sacrifice.
[The Arrow of Activity: the numbers 7, 8 and 9] Enjoying the outdoors, Chee wee is someone who will perform best by being busy. He dislikes confined spaces, and needs both physical and mental exercise. A good walk in fresh air is an intellectual catalyst like no other to Chee wee, whose need to be constantly occupied is an asset to any employer.
[The Arrow of Practicality: the numbers 1, 4 and 7] Good with his hands, Chee wee is a natural craftsman who will work for as long as it takes to secure a perfect result. Capable and practical, he gets on well with others at all levels of society. If Chee wee does not pursue a practical trade, it will be important to develop a subsidiary practical interest to complement his main employment.

Comments based on Chinese Grid

11 Chee wee will be reasonably successful in financial terms, and enjoy a degree of luck.

3 Unless Chee wee also has in the Chinese version either the numbers 5 and 7, or the numbers 4 and 8, he will be hypersensitive and prone to stress-related problems.

4 Intelligent and logical, Chee wee is not someone who acts rashly on the spur of the moment.

6 Chee wee is family-orientated, and needs a pleasant working environment as well as a comfortable home.

8 In the absence (in the Chinese version) of the numbers 1 and 6, he will be good with money and details. He will be happier if the Chinese grid includes the numbers 5 and 7.

9 Although Chee wee is ambitious, his ambition is tempered with humanitarian ideals.

[The Arrow of the Planner: 3, 4 and 8] Chee wee has a cunning approach that borders on the unethical. He will flourish in those areas of business life that reap rewards from the misfortunes of others.

[The Arrow of Prosperity: The numbers 1, 6 and 8] Chee wee is suited to the commercial world because he is determined to make money - if necessary at the expense of all else. Without the numbers 3, 5 and 7 (in the Chinese version) Chee wee will be a cold and calculating individual who will achieve his aims with total disregard for the feelings of others.

That makes me kinda evil huh. lol.

posted by Charlie @ 12:54 PM

-==blog==-

Shian's blog
It has almost become a daily routine to check into shian's blog. He wrote with good sense and logic which appeals to me. He provides deep insight into specific issues and often inspire me deeply. He wrote in a way that is informative as well as entertaining so readers like me do not get bored. In comparison to the blog that take singapore by storm which belongs to xiaxue, shian's is a much finer read. He should get nominated but haha, supposed I dun wish to see him writing his blog just for the sake of his readers. Thats what happen to xiaxue.

Sch
There is not a day we stop thinking abt scholastic matters especially when it is getting on our nerves. Kent had a talk with Ahmad yesterday. He again argue with his unique wayward logic against Ahmad's sensible replies. Even ahmad is able to identify kent that he is just living in his own small world. However pondering upon Ahmad's replies, its not entirely the fault of the sch system that had landed us in such dire straits.

The fault lands on the competitiveness of the local economy, which has no room for workers of direct specialisation. The existence of polytechnics are to cater to the demand of the industries. The demand is not just in the no of workers, it includes the capabilities of the workers as well. With a pampared and luxurious lifestyle, the singapore society had moulded the future workers to be complacent and arrogant, refusing everything but high-ranking and high-paying jobs, sorely based on nothing but a few scraps of paper. The qualifications does not even reflects the capabilities of the holder at all.

Well, coming back to the polytechnics. In accordance to the demands of in this case, the multimedia industry, they required workers to be multi-capable in many areas. Therefore SP held the responsibility of equipping us with the necessary skills. Students ended up taking too much than they can handle. In such, the students usually start out poorly equipped with too much fundamentals of many subjects. With heavy competition from neighbouring countries, Singapore is rapidly losing out in this industry, much less to say the students.

We students now are too under-exposed and restrained. We are refrained from exploring our creativity and the lecturers are not professional in their work. They did not fully utilise the budget given to them to give us the best tools and useful info. Like Rahim said, sometimes, we rather depend on reference books available at bookstores then the lecturers.

We were told by external sources that foreign subjects are offering their services here at half the quotation but twice the talent. We had actually in fact lost out to the foreign students of our age. If this depreciation of multimedia carries on, singapore will be out of the league soon enough. So much for the impossible goal of being the world's hub of everything. That is really pushing the ppl off the edge.

Rahim
Today we had a good 40 mins chat with Rahim. Rahim is a lab technician in our sch. He is one lawless staff of SP. He does not abide by the rules and regulations of being a lab tech and enjoys defying them. Well thats nothing great. Occasionally u will meet ppl who bend the rules. But what makes him special is that he is able to go down to our level and communicate and help us. He empathised with our problems and tries to seek redress for us.

He sees the troubles of the sch system and attitudes of some irresponsible and incapable lecturers. They are not operating to the student benefits but instead to theirs. This had griefed him but there is nothing he can do....

He is really the student's fren.

This is so much i wanna blog abt.

I am off to bed. Yawnzzz...

posted by Charlie @ 1:08 AM

-==War Torn Zone==-

It is just a matter of time before we are tore to shreds. We have got huge gattling guns pointed at us with heavy artillery support behind.

The sch compound has became a harsh battleground with students fighting to survive. Sch work pounds on relentlessly, leaving us too weak to carry on. I had not wish to reach the finishing point with broken limbs or a wounded body. I want to produce results. But seems like we are racing against time.

I went to lan today on the belief that it will be able to restore myself. But adverse effects began to set in. I feel extremely tired and i am rapidly getting drained out. By the time we left i am pretty much exhausted. Now i am trying to get some work up but i had failed ultimately. Gonna get stuffs up running tml.

Interim is impending. It not something easy to pull out of. Its my responsiblity not to get gunned down now....... The path is gettign rough....

Nonetheless, I will continue to struggle till i cease to breathe...... The odds are against me now but i will triump!

I am getting the fuck out....

posted by Charlie @ 2:36 AM

-==Hey, where am I?==-

Atmosphere is sure heated up now. Everybody is so hectically involved in their sch work. Casualties are on the rise although i am not sure who has fallen. I am coming up fast on the list.

First my ACAN assignment 1 is not done although it is near. My dream of a nice B for this assignment had flown away. Its sad that i nv got an A for my modules throughout my poly semesters. Not even my ITP is spared. With late submission i would most likely get a B or C for the module.

The sch system had only wants to produce workers that cater to the needs of the industry. They have no thoughts on how the cirriculum maybe better structured and organised so that we can produce better results and works. The local multimedia industry is very bad. Most companies require their staffs to be multi-talented. And the average pay for a multimedia artist is just around $1400. It pathetic sum for the amount of work that could be involved...

Before u think this is over, my AAUP, another module is racing up with a practical test almost at the same time as ACAN's. Within a few weeks there will be a couple more deadlines. We are given inadequate time and resources to produce quality works. With perfectionism, it could take us out.

The situation is looking very gloomy, almost hopeless. I am agitated that i cant get things done properly and promptly and soon all these will become a heavy liablity weighing infinitely on me. Sch is not just what we have in our lives. There are matters that requires our attention as well.

Although i learnt new things in driving today, but i am too tired to be able to focus on some minor details which could ultimately lead to accidents. The instructor was not satisfied with my performance of taking on a turn and asked me to do it over and over again. But i kept repeating the mistakes that he highlighted to me. If this kind of condition persists, i could jolly well flop my driving test.

I am not quite done with my ACAN struggle. I should turn in now.

I am a timed bomb.

posted by Charlie @ 11:16 PM

-==No no.....==-

I LANned again. Sounds like i have sinned again. The temptation is almost irresistable especially after a weary battle with my assignments.

Knowing all too well that the rest will follow me, i accepted mk's offer to have a match with me. Out of goodwill i asked kent along as well.

We took to different seats all over the shop being andi and kent sitting in company while the rest of us were singled out. The initial game was a disaster. Kent rush-attacked me with airborne drops while andi and jeff attacked me in syncronisation during mid-game. Furious that they might be ganging on me, i surrendered even though i can still play on. Kent was not well-off then, his base was left in bits and pieces waiting for one of us to totally annihilate him. After my surrender i had 2 quick but good games with mk before we switched to 3v2. Both times i am allied to jeff. So its us 2 vs the rest. Jeff being generally defensive, hold back in his base and massed defense structures. While in the safe custody of jeff's structures, i launch an offensive campaign against the others. Out of the 2 rounds i am allied with jeff, we won one. With that we concluded our day.

My victories in Generals: Zero Hour had made me much complacent and self-contented. I began with no experience of the game and made it to be one of the top players among my lan partners. So i deducted that i am quite a force to be reckon with hence the syncronised attacks in the first game. Out of my surprise, i heard from andi that it was kent who instigated him to attack me. I do not blame andi's reaction as i won him several times.

But its unforgivable that kent used such underhand means to compensate his loss. I didnt even purposely target him in all the games so far. He had reflected very bad sportsmanship and morals..... Such is that griefs me... Kent has utterly disappoint me. The more kindness and tolerance shown to his barbaric and controlling demeanor, the more he will take advantage of it and make use of u like a tool.

This is too small of a matter to make a fuss out of it. But this is definitely not the first time he does these unethical things. Ppl ought to stand up and not to be so easily manipulated by him. He must die. From now i will try to make him my primary target.

Haiz.

Its 2am and i am still up. I should be turning in now in preparation for the struggle ahead.

I am outie.

posted by Charlie @ 2:13 AM

-==Lan==-

Lan is an addiction shared by us, namely jeff, mk, andi, kent and me. I dun see it as that innocent.

From my point of view, lan is merely an outlet for jeff to de-stress as he has got no satisfactory entertainment at home. He also believes in spending time with frens, building relationships.

To kent, perhaps it is abt his personal gains. He is just a sore loser who is trying to win back an amount of pride which is lost when we ridicule abt how badly he played. I must admitted we are quite evil gloating over his lost. But we see it in another way. We are winning back something we lost to him as well.

Though i dun really know andi well, from his blog, i can feel he is antagonised over matters of life. Lan seems like a perfect outlet for the pain that andi, mk and me are going through. But i would say it is just a temporary reliever. The effects are just as short as a drug will bring u but double the misery later, which in this case, our coffers.

It is heart wenching to see money running through the drain without any satisfactory results. Lan is just temporarily numbing our senses making us oblivious to the agony we are experiencing.

I am still angsting although i stubbornly refused to admit it. But seems like i cant hide it, can i?

I had said it.

I am out.

posted by Charlie @ 2:29 AM

--==Da dada....==-

The sky is shrouded by the darkness of assignment deadlines. Hardly any life nowadays.

Hmm, wait. U can find life in the com labs. Its buzzling with human activity daily. Me, myself, like everyone else is busy over our projects. And it can be extremely annoying when some inconsiderate yr 2's are blasting their speakers away while u are working. Not as our sch systems possess speakers, but its amazing that some coms emit sound direct from the cpu box.

Before Shian came in, i was already extremely irritated by the inconsiderate yr 2 punk. Shian then came to my side and began working for awhile before he found himself disturbed as well. We spook to each other loudly, saying where did the basic courtesy went to? The punk ignored our indirect prompts. There is another matter at hand as well.

Some of our mates couldnt find any seats at first. We were looking across the lab and we saw a couple more yr 2's using adobe photoshop and playing games as well. Thats extremely intolerable! That is a lab meant for 3D work and meant for yr 3's. Well of coz we do use it in yr 2. But we dun used it like some moronic yr 2's who can work in their designated rooms instead of here. That infuriating..!

Haha, Mr Ahmad, our saviour. He came along and cleansed the lab of yr 2's, promptly ended the nonsense for a moment. Thats a relieve. With the disturbances gone, we toiled on....

I had been taking driving lessons these past 3 months. Have u wondered why driving causes backaches. Besides the fact that u are spending time on the road to get to ur destination, there are several factors as well.

Close in on the main point. Singapore roads.

Every few mins u are bound to bump into a traffic junction. In that situation, i would say driving an auto car is the best. If are driving an manual car, it will require a few feats. Skip the technical details. For a novice driver like me, its back aching work as u will need to observe road rules. Some ppl just gives no quarter to other ppl, even those with an 'L' behind.

Enough of the ranting. Off to bed.

I am outie.

posted by Charlie @ 11:48 PM

-==Review==-

Ah.... Backtracking...

Saturday.

The proclaimed day of love. A special day for the couples and a time for people who loves each other to get together.

Hmm, I did get together with my frens and of coz not without my love, my obsession, LAN. But its the most impossible day to actually see so many ppl hanging around in lan shops fighting for coms with us. We got stalled for 2 hrs before we were recommended the lan shop at Selegie.

Upon the news that the shop is using high-end machines, we decided we will go down there. Besides we can always hang out around orchard if there isnt enough coms.

We were stucked in a dilemma of which form of transport should we take. Jeff and andhika who were holding mrt student concessions insisted on taking the mrt. Initially kent was with me in taking the bus since we were holding bus passes, but the situation took a turn when he got a bad stomachache. Hmm, mk however was trying to make things better but he is after all pretty neutral too.

Kent felt its not worth going that distance after all unless we opted to take a cab. Five persons. According to new traffic rules, the taxis are not suppose to carry more than 4 passengers. Initially i agreed to take the mrt with the rest and he said he wont be coming with us. Not as though i bulge but instead i supported him on the basis that its troublesome taking a bus and then the mrt. Besides, its worth a try to get a cab that will take 5 persons.

After all the disagreements, we finally stood by the roadside waiting for a cab. There was this fellow infront of us. Mk being impatient, tried to rally us to walk further down the road infront of that guy. I felt its not ethical so i didnt go ahead with it.

I mean, waiting for the next cab wont hurt. Guess we wasted too much time. Its already 5 then. We were lucky. The cab driver agreed to bend the rules for the five of us. Cool.

And we got there in no time. We thrashed out at the lan shop, feeding our insatiable hunger. That sort of concluded our day.

I got home to get news of my com emitting a chemical smell. It starts up as usual but the weird smell seems terrifying. A chemical explosion might occur if i persisted on using it. Taking it as my com is spoilt, i left it for the night and the following day.

Ah ha, turns out its the power supply box thats go awry. I changed it with an old com and its back online.

Nothing for for today so i shall go to bed now.

I am outie!

posted by Charlie @ 12:23 AM

-==Web==-

I am tired. Its not just a lack of rest. I am mentally conceding as well.

I am taking invisible pounding from sch work. It gets harder everytime I procrastinate. Its getting worse. I am totally trapped by external influences and leisure.

People have been understanding and trying to close their eye abt my inefficiency and incapability to deliver. But its obvious to the observers. I am digging my grave. I even made a tombstone.

I dunno what had happen. I feel totally different, unlike what i used to be. I am shutting myself off the other people, retreating in myself. I had became a sad man, full of angst. I feel like a total loser. I had failed to govern my own life effectively, making the best out of my already few strengths.

I just hope i will be given direction in my life. Something to wake me up before its too late, too late to make a stand. Sometimes i just feel like putting a bullet thr my skull.

zzzzz.... I am out.

posted by Charlie @ 11:54 AM

-==Fall==-

I had taken ill. Down with flu with chest pains and headaches.

Now I am stuck at home, unable to do much work. I am already behind schedule for all my assignments including my FYP.

And I had been feeling bad all weekend. Cant even get a proper rest on bed with that inflamed throat of mine.

Even after a day of medication, I woke up this morning feeling the chills again but yet I am not running a temperature.

Again I took the medication. Although it makes me feel better, its just a matter of time before the symptoms returns. I decided to get up and take deep breaths. I wasn't helping so I try pacing up and down in my living room.

Then I took a slow jog from my parent's room to the living room. The perspiration made me feel good. Now i am going to take a bath and go to rest.

Hopefully i be back in action tomorrow.

posted by Charlie @ 1:16 PM

-==Regrets==-

The atmosphere is looking gloomy as usual with ppl hanging around unmotivated and unsure of their purpose. I believe quite a no of us are lost in our own world.

Thinking of my initial entry into this course, I had got no prior knowledge nor strong passion for it. I dun even know what the curriculum might be covering.

That had got to be one of the regrets in my life. I had many regrets. That even includes the modules that I chose whilst in this course.

I could have major in programming where I am stronger at instead of pursing music and video.

Cut out on that. I should make the best out of my situation now.

Despite the darkness that looms over us, there are still glimpses of light that brightens everything up.

William Hung!!!!

He had failed the American idol 3 audition and hereby after became a hot topic among the general public. He had created a major uproar among my classmates and seems like every other day we are talking abt him. We even saw his article on newspaper today.

Check out his online fan site. >-->|The Man|<--

The way he sang "She bangs" by Ricky Martin really tickles alot of ppl. Ppl are mocking him but at the same time impressed by his courage and speech. Many had said he is the most geniune person ever to stand the American idol stage so far.

But i am more impressed by the remixes done by alot of people who really got alot of time to spare. Its interesting. Check it out.

For now i got to rest. I am out.

posted by Charlie @ 12:43 AM

-==Complains==-

Omg! I hate it when i had to do household chores. Its sickening. Especially i am bogged down by some invisible stress.

First, its my mum. She got a real nice way of nagging which will often gets me to work for her.

She is tactical in her words and there are hints that she wishes u to do the work for her. But sometimes she just directly ordered me to do it.....

Well no doubt she had a hard day at work but there are times i simply dun have the mood to do it. Nevertheless, i still did them for her despite my unwillingness...

Second, the air is boiling up again. Gone are the cool days of Dec and Jan. Those were the days u can simply sleep without the fan on.

With the sun high up, u can hardly keep urself dry these days. But well, despite that, most of the time i will be in the comfort of lab 54 or the lan shops. Lol!

How i wish Singapore got a cooler climate. Sick of those sticky, humid and hot days. Which singaporean isnt?

Ah, lastly is sch. U know, FYP is serious shit. I hope i can pull out of it.

There is no point in hoping for it. I got to realise it. To realise it i got to work! And thats something i am always running from, refusing it. I am really getting godamn frustrating at myself.

Now i feel if time can be stopped, i will take the suspended space to take a breather. Things are going terribly wrong. I recently placed a self destruct bomb on myself.

Somehow i feel i am like kent. I am really impossible. Last semester and i am sitting warmly in my crouch refusing to get myself moving.

So much for whining. I am still not budging.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!

Can i just fly away?

And here is the fear of getting rubbed off the group list. Someone pls kill me......

posted by Charlie @ 12:13 AM

-=Fire up!==-

The air is cleared.

Joe seems to have cooled down and tried to be more accomodating. I am still on good terms with Jeff. Dawn tried to explain what happen that day.

All is well now. However i blame Jeff for being harsh and blowing words up hence resulting in my anger that day. Maybe he is just carrying his anti-kent sentiments into my behaviour. Lol.

Its good news we had our AAUP assignment done by our expert, Syazali. We are all comforted. Besides that we received news that we our ACAN assignment is only due on week 8.

But nevertheless, its not time to slack. We still have to pull up our socks and worked on our stuffs, be it ACAN or FYP.

Good to go ppl.

I am outie.

posted by Charlie @ 7:25 PM

-==Lost==-

In the midst of sch work, i caught a few stray bullets. Although it is not deliberately targeted at me but the bullets still hurt. The pain had stirred anger within me and spurred me for awhile. But often emotions dun stay and the drive is lost when i cooled down within hrs.

Even went for lan gaming to keep cooler.

For years, things had been going this way. I had fallen into a pit that i have been unable to climb out of.

When was the time i fell in?

I dunno.

I have always wish i can brace up and move on. But i am always stopping myself from achieving something. My inner demons are conquering me. They are taking over!

I dun see lan gaming as fun to me sometimes. It is something, someplace for me to run away and escape from reality. The reality of having to fulfil duties.

Its personal.

I give up too easily. On the work i am doing, on myself. This is particularly evident during my ITP. I totally give up trying to do what i am suppose to do and slack the time away, refusing to seek help even though its just a holler away.

I had totally changed. I am no longer the happy go lucky chap living in the matrix.

I had come to know abt the worldly issues and had developed a disgust for life. However i had chosen to continue to delude myself in the deceiving world.

I had a wonderful dialogue with Shian whose bday is just a day after mine. He had told me my choice is to take the blue pill return to this world, the matrix, and do whatever we want to do to break free... and fail ultimately or to take the red pill and follow Him.

In case u ppl dunno who Him is, he is the God recognised by the Christians.

Ultimately, i must strive for the sake of others who cared for me and for myself. To succeed, and to fulfil my role to others who are still in the matrix.

Until then i shall be FREE!!

posted by Charlie @ 2:13 AM