Embrace Change

-==Courage==-

I had suffered in silence enough. Its time to speak out especially on incidents like this.

Many might say:

Omg, y only confront him now, if i were u i would have whacked him.

My side of the story being that nothing of this kind have ever happen to me before and it is very abrupt. That gay fuck being a long-standing fren of my cousin-in-law had made it hard for me bring the matter right in her face on the spot. I went back only to discover my fren was also violated.

Injustice is done not just to me but my fren if i dun speak out. I just had to do it.

When confronted, my cousin in law is very upset and agitated. She suggested we go to the police. Till then, we dunno what to do so we decided to leave it to the police.

We had a face to face confrontation yesterday and he dared to deny everything infront of me and my fren but of coz not looking into my eyes.

His attempts to cover his actions are so flawed that i simply shut him up and shouted in his face.

See u in court.

He was so confused and scared and he went speechless. A couple of times he contradicted and gave himself away. Be glad i exercise self control and restrained myself from smashing his face with every possible things nearby.

We left after seeing that things are going nowhere and he admitted to his actions to my cousin.

My cousin consulted me and i advised him to turn over to the police. He went down but didnt turn himself over as the inspector is not in. But bullshit.... There are others on duty.

Now its not our choice to drop or press charges. The public court will prosecute him accordingly.

I am kinda confused as whether to press charges....... Dammit.... The report is going up to the AGC. I had agreed not to press charges to the inspector who called yesterday. Now i am kinda regretting. He said a criminal act is committed so its we go to court first, after then we can opt to settle it out of court.

I dun wish for any monetary compensation. He is absolutely disgusting and he had harmed me psychologically. No amount of money can cover that.

What should i do?

My close frens are still making mocking remarks. Not sparing any concern for our injustice and scarred soul. I am really dishearted...

posted by Charlie @ 11:15 PM

-==OUTRAGEOUS!!==-

It might be seen bizzare to hear cases like a guy touches a guy and the victim reported that case. Godamn and this happens to me and it is so outrageous. Lunar Chinese New Year and this sort of of thing have got to happen. Its really a misfortune. Its not my face, not my hands, not my leg hairs but my groin.

I am not the only victim. My fren got it too. In fact he got insulted before me. I then informed Edmund, my cousin and my cousin-in-law, Cindy of this matter. Together the four of us including my fren reached a consensus that we should call the police and not to let him get away with it. There is no telling how many more teens he actually outraged.

Please dun ask me who that fren is. Its bad enough this kind of thing happened.

We made a report at a neighbourhood police centre but the case got referred to higher authority. We ended up in the police division of the west district. We got referred to a SIO(Senior Inspector Officer) who took our statements. He was so busy that he could hardly finish the procedures. We managed to finish everything at 12am. We came around 5++pm btw.

My dad picked me up at the station. My mum was nagging incessantly on any possible subject like bad frens and y should invite ppl. All those are not important. Whats important is that my modesty is outraged by a GUY and he ought to be reported.

Not as we did not gave him a chance to settle it out of court. He denied all the charges. One of the inspector that took his statement came out kinda disgusted and said be prepared to go to court. Another inspector also feel negatively abt the accused.

Meanwhile when my parents were picking me up, they chided me for not informing and discuss with them and instead made a decision by myself. But its by consensus that we should go to the police and my cousin are old enough to make that sort of decision. Plus i didnt even get to see them after the incident.

I cant stand my mum at times becoz whatever she said is forever so incoherent and irrelavant at times in an arguement. She dun understand simple logic just like me sis. I wondered if the differences between man and woman comprises of one that states woman dun think logically....

My mum got me very agitated and i was screaming on the top of my voice outside the station. Bet that accused heard that i will sue his ass off. At home she starts shits again and no matter how hard i explain to her, it dun get inside of her. Got me really exhausted and pissed....

Now the only problem remains: money.

He is rich hence he dun mind a court case to save his reputation. Well, i will still make sure he kiss his ass goodbye and good riddance in jail.

Anger boils within me, escalated by events.......

I am out. And dun use this to tease. I will make sure u get it from me.

posted by Charlie @ 2:20 AM

-==New Year==-

First of all, Happy Chinese New Year. Hope its a nice holiday for everybody and big ang baos rolling in.

Though its the new year but i feel the atmosphere around is pretty gloomy. Even meeting my relatives yesterday. But we did have some fun.

We caught a movie on CNY eve which i think is the lamest movie i ever watched after Scary Movie 3.

Word of caution. Dun catch "Fantasia". Its a nightmare that how lousy chinese shows can get nowadays. The movie seemed very deceiving with their reowned artistes. Gosh. The whole shit totally suck with a bad plot and the lamest humor u ever know.

I was kinda moody coz i was uncomfortable in my new shirt yesterday but nonetheless i had much fun fooling around with my younger cousins. Some of them are so adorable but they really tired me out. After awhile when things settled down to some peace, we cousins think its time for our mahjong.

Lol! We left for my 4th aunt house which is nearby and played till the wee hrs. We cousins really had alot of jokes around and its nv bored playing mahjong with them unless we are really exhausted. We eve changed our location to my another cousin house which is nearby too and played mahjong till morning.

I was so exhausted that i fell asleep almost instantly around 6am. Woke up at noon and went for lunch at my 4th aunt house and here i am home sweet home.

Nothing beats the comfort of home and a fresh change of clothes. I felt kinda sticky at my cousin house. LOL!

I might be going on a house visit later and go for mahjong again. Haha. Oh man, this is crazy i know but to make it even crazier, we will be playing two tables. My cousin house had virtually turned into a mahjong den. Cool heh? :p

Gonna hang around my house now before leaving for a battle ahead. Stay cool peeps and have fun.

I am out. -Poof-

posted by Charlie @ 4:56 PM

-==Be Strong==-

If Shian had not mentioned, i didnt quite know i am drowning in my own misery. I kinda moved out of that, trusting things will work out themselves.

I didnt know quite how to pen down my thoughts here or rather things that i realised just comes and go, just like inspirations.

I ponder abt something suddenly. Ppl had said that i am a real bad advisor. What constitutes a good listener btw?

Maybe through the blog, ppl can notice i cant organise my ideas well. There goes the same when i listen to ppl's problems. I always wished that i could help them. I would usually get ideas of what might help them but the prob is i cant organise my thoughts in a presentable way.

Another prob is my inability to express myself well. I mean present myself in a more understandable way. Hence i usually blurt my disorganised ideas out constituting to bad advice....

Hope i will be able to further improve my english and be a strong in the area of speech. Getting late.

I am out.

posted by Charlie @ 10:19 PM

-~Today~-

We had our lan gaming addiction back. I guessed it must have been a sch-induced addiction. Everyday after sch i would feel rather lethargic, but of coz thats becoz i did not have enough sleep. With less sleep, i got lower self control and would usually succumb to the LAN temptation.

However we planned to go LAN gaming today. I had made an agreement with some of my poly mates to jog every wed. Hope the training will bring us thr Napha.

I got a timing of 13m 55s today, probably due to the extra hot weather today. I did not drink enough water the day before as i usually will hence i am kinda dehydrated now. Disappointing to see this kind timing but i will work hard.

Today lanning was good. We had fun killing each other on CS. We got ourselves some anti kent nicks. They are to kill off some of our anti-kent sentiments. It had built up among some of my poly mates who are working with him. Lol! He is the most difficult person i ever worked with. But he is a fine friend. Someone u will enjoy hanging out with.

Nothing much abt thoughts these days. I am just like a zombie doing the usual stuffs in and out. I am trying not to think too much which often caused me much agony.

I forsee impending doom so i should enjoy while i can. LOL!!!

I am outie.

posted by Charlie @ 9:53 PM

-~What?!~-

I had enjoyed myself with my pri sch frens last fri. We went out for dinner and a movie. Its had been cool 7 yrs since we last seen each other.

Earlier that day I went swimming with this pri sch crush of mine. She had grown pretty through the years. Heh. It seems abit weird at first when she started pouring her heart out but its fine after awhile. Its like we had lost contact for so many years but I am easy going so it aint a problem for me if it isnt one for her.

I find my words pretty self conflicting that day and I seems kinda tongue tied too. I seems to have quiet down alot these days. Wonder what the hell is happening to me. Silence is golden. Erm, it can be good. Spare ppl my incessant whining. Lol.

I have been trying to get my life together and brace up for my last semester but I cant find the spirit and the will to do my best. Shian said I am full of angst. Woo. Bull's eye.

But I am getting out of that phase. I believe things will work out somehow. I am just trying to live my life to the fullest and stop dwelling on unimportant issues and past failures now. Things like trying to get a gf now is just unimportant and generally foolish when I am just not ready for it. Now I just wanna spend some quality time with my frens while they are still single. Hehe!

My thoughts are not very comprehensive but kinda what I am thinking now. heh.

I am outie ppl.

posted by Charlie @ 12:14 AM

-~Low Morale~-

It had been half a year ever since I sat down on a desk listening to a lecturer.

Day one at sch is just an hr of introductory lesson. Went home after chatting with some of my classmates. By 3pm I am already home and I have the rest of the day to myself.

I warmed up for some exercises and did light pumping and then went on to situps. Recently got an exercise mat. Finally I can do some situps without worries. Been trying to work off my tummy. It had grown recently. Probably due to hrs of com stuff.

I then took a quick bath and settled for my com games all the way to dinner time. Not much for Monday but whatever. Nonetheless it feels good to see my poly peeps again after so long. This is the last semester after all. Must treasure the time with them.

Every tuesday will be the longest day of the week which includes saturday too.... 3 hrs of prac in the morning, 2 hrs of FYP and 3 hrs of prac. The rest is break time. We were briefed about our modules today during the 2 pracs.

I am fine with Advanced Character Animation module. Been okay with it all along. I am sure i will be able to pull through this with at least a C.

However i am extremely demoralised by Advanced Audio Production. I had got Bs for 2 of my previous audio modules. But i dun have faith in doing this module. I am always confused about the music theories ever since year 1. I had tried to opt out of doing audio and video last semester but seems like my nemesis is back again.

By some luck i always pull thr the audio modules. But Mr Spicer is making the module look so horrible today. Looking at the assessment and my upcoming assignments, i just wished i am not in this module. Godamn.....

Cubase got updated to another version and it seems even more foreign to me. I got this feeling i gotta graduate with a crown of white hair. Getting frustrated every min i am thinking abt the module and the upcoming projects. AWWW.....

Just hope everything straighten itself out when i get there. Got this really bad feeling....... Napha is another headache. Need to build up on it. Now i had to manage my time like never before. I am in for a hard time......

Feeling lethargic. I should retire.

I am outie.

posted by Charlie @ 12:41 AM

-~End of one, start of another~-

Today is the last day we could be that free. That free to do what we want. I am about to embark on a tedious journey to graduation, on which after that, I be going to the army.

Yeah, that is if there are no hiccups.

Hmm... Last day of freedom and I went to the beach with a couple of my frens.

We meet up around 11 with jl coming down late, hmm, I would say as usual. Hy, jeff and me headed down first and hit the waters once we found a pavilion to settle our bags.

And godammit. The water was so fucking cold. I can feel goosebumps even before I am totally soaked. Screw it. We swam around trying to warm up a little but its just too cold.

We used to swim across a lake, or would u call that a pool of water. I was questioning Jeff.

"Dun u call that a lagoon? U know, a pool of water sheltered off by a piece of land off the coast."

Yeah I am used to calling it a lagoon. But whatever, lets just call it the lagoon. We swam across the lagoon to the stretch of beach and rest there for awhile. Hy had gauged the water temp to be around 20 degrees. Aww. Thats godamn cold.

After we swam back, jl popped along and we hanged around the beach together looking at babes. Its very disappointing to see that little babes on the beach today. Kinda pathetic not to have a single gal with us too.... It had been this way for some time.

Just us guys.... Boring.......

The waters are just too cold and there aint got nice babes around hence we left at 3 for our lunch.

As usual, we dined at the food centre off HarbourFront bus interchange. Had our usual cha kway tiao and sugar cane. Love the sugarcane there. I dunno y. Just find it awesome. We went for 2 rounds each as we were really hungry.

Ahhh.....! So fulfilling~

Today there is a change of guards ceremony too at Istana. Its a monthly routine. Our fren is playing in the military band hence we headed down to show some support. We managed to rally alvin down to join us.

The ceremony consists of a march from the Heerens and some foot drill and an arms drill performance by the MPs(military police). If jeff is not wrong, the MPs should be using the M1 Garand as their performing tool. Woooo....

Cant believe they are still using it. Jeff said that the rifle weighs 5kg. Thats godamn heavy, at least heavier then the M16 rifle but they are flipping it around like it is weighless. So amazing.

The ceremony ended promptly, leaving us on the street not knowing what to do. Alvin suggested, we to go and watch a rock performance by unknown bands. The whole thing will start around 7 at the youth park so we just waste our time at HMV listening to all the latest albums.

Cool yeah. Love that place. If only they have got chairs around. LOL!

We head down to youth park at 1930 to catch the last song of a band which we unanimously admit it to be the best of the nite. The rest either got funny names or we cant hear their singing most of the time. Not to mention they personal styling. Nothing of a rock icon. :(

We left the place disappointed and went for dinner before we took a bus home.

Thats about all. I am lucky i got my class at 12 tml. Gtg.

I am outie.

posted by Charlie @ 1:03 AM

-~Wisdom~-

Jesus!!!! I had just discovered that i got 2 wisdom teeth popping outta my gums.....

OMFG!!!!!! There aint no bloody increase in wisdom but i already had 3 wisdom tooth. Just got one removed mths ago and it cost a whopping $165 bucks. Thats so bloody ex!

Geez..... Now i got 2 more, and my mum seems reluctant to take out the money for their removal...... I hope it wont do anything to my teeth alignment. I dun wanna have crooked teeth.....

Haiz. Something bad for a NEW start.....

Army could have it removed for free but by that time i could have dental complications..... Shit. Y has it got to come out now?

The more i look myself each day, the more i feel i am a loser. Got to do something got to do something got to do something....... GrrRHGHHGGG AHHHHH!!!!!!! Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! zdgsgdghDHD!!!!!!!

i am outie.

posted by Charlie @ 11:52 PM

-~NEW Year~-

It is a brand new year and it will be a year where it might see a different me.

I had gone and spent my new year countdown at my fren's house with wine and fine food cooked by his dad. His dad kinda a great cook, a chef in a hotel overseas. This is a budget decision as we do not have the means to go to any party.

We had japanese cruisine that nite accompanied by white wine that we bought at PS earlier. Carrefour held a wine fair at PS and they are selling some wines cheap. We thought France wine would be good but apparently cheap price brings cheap goods. The white wine dun taste as good as the German one we tasted.

We sat down for Bad Boys II after the dinner while the gers entertained themselves in bryan's room. A very nice show which we guys enjoyed.

Soon its 0000. Its NEW YEAR but we were too engrossed in the show that we hecked it. My cousin was obviously upsetted by the fact that we are boring enough to just stay in the house at new year. I am just feeling lazy after that many rounds of mahjong i played the days before. She came out of the room and reminded us its the new year but all of us got eyes sticked on the tv screen and ignored her.

After which, i went into the room and say happy new year to her and claudia. Haha. After the show we began playing PS2 games and while the rest of us entertained us by playing card games. We did a fortune telling game which foretold my future wife stuff. It predicted her not to love me and she is not intelligent but she will be rich and another thing i forgot. Of coz it is just a game or i would have sound like some giggolo.

*Spits

We played till the wee hours before we settled down for Truth Dare in bryan's game. There we used the empty wine bottle for the game. All get to know some secrets here and there. lol!!!! Soon its morning 7am and the gers were tired and they went to sleep on bryan's bed while the rest of us either were playing PS2 games or lying all around the living room.

I must say that bryan's house is very nice. It had a very nice ambience and its pretty cosy too so we had no trouble even sleeping on the floor wif all the cushions and carpet. Lol. We seems pretty imposing on them as we stayed on for lunch till evening before we get our ass off. We even had a long chat of abt an hr with his sis and mum. They are friendly peeps too.

God, its from Pungol to home.... Geez.... We took a bus to Sengkang Mrt and took the train to harbourfront and took 963 home. Whole journey lasts an hr plus, close to 2. I was so exhausted when i got home that i quickly bathed and take my dinner. I then chilled online and went to bed at 10.

Nothing great of a new year countdown but i spent quality time with these close frens of mine. Cool. Hope our friendships go a long way.

Dinner time. I am outie.

posted by Charlie @ 6:48 PM